Tomorrow my mom along with my brother, his fiance, and her parents are meeting with the pastor (who happens to be my cousin) at the church of their planned wedding. I think they have to testify that neither my brother nor his fiance are already married. And we have to give documents that my brother was baptised, received first communion, and confirmed since it will be a Catholic wedding. We also have to have the certificate from when my brother and his fiance (non-religioned) took a pre-martial class.

The thing is... my dad always took care of all our documents and he keeps them who knows where. My mom went crazy searching for the papers without success. The whole time she kept mumbling non sense, full of worry, at the verge of tears. So I got up and helped search through the stacks and stacks of documents. Instead of finding the marriage papers, I kept finding my dad's funeral documents.

Even though it's not my wedding (as it is my mother's for her first born son) nor was it my funeral (as it was my mother's for my father) I felt a strange sense of emptyness. An extreme lonelyness like everyone I treasured was only present by the thin sheets of papers I held in my hands.

I can only imagine how my mother feels on nights like this...

Last night I told Yoebo to compliment me because I felt he doesn't do it nearly enough. So he told me to compliment him because he felt I don't do it nearly enough. I complimented that he has GREAT taste in women. So he complimented that I have GREAT taste in men  -___-

I told him GOODNIGHT! Waste of my time staying up to talk to him if he isn't even going to compliment me!

So he told me a story about a time when he was driving home from school. At the end of the story I wanted to marry Yoebo. I would tell you that story but when I asked if I can write it on xanga, he said no. Hehe. I guess some secrets are best kept between the two of us   

Besides, a lot of you would probably get nauseous with all he cheesiness 

1. Fail. I had a really stressfull weekend because there were problems with my car when I had places to go and people to see so what went from a nice day off with tons of plans with my friends turned into me munching on comfort food at home crying while figuring out what do with my car.

2. Check! I even sent out a birthday card and some chocolate snacks for Yoebo's dad birthday. Brownie points!

3. Fail. Car problem = $$$$!!

4. Fail. I'm pooped after today! I met the contestants for this year's Miss Asia Sacramento and did their makeup for their head shot & photo shoot for their poster. Many of the girls decided to book for pageant night   Tomorrow I have an engagement shoot to do then try to catch the rest of cosmetology school then off to English class. My days are JAMMED PACKED. Who has the time to party? Seriously? Seriously.

1. Lose weight. I have no time for exercise. So I am going to diet away my body even if it kills me! Reason: I bought a new micro mini and I want to look extra good in it 

2. Stop critisizing Yoebo for what he doesn't do and appreciate him for what he does do. It's hard because he doesn't talk about the troubles he goes through for me, he makes it seem so easy! But now I know. And call me Ms. Appreciate!

3. NO MORE SPENDING. As soon as I make money I spend it. From now I will ONLY buy NECESSARY things as if I couldn't afford more. So hard when the numbers in your accnt is increasing but must be done!

4. Go out more. I'm 21. Not 41. *sigh* I should be out having FUN and putting in the effort to look as fabulous as possible!

What's new with everyone?

In the morning Yoebo and I got into a big fight. He cancelled dinner reservations and even said he would just drop me off at the mall by myself for the day. I refused to cry. I just said, "fine." We argued on the way to mall but refused to talk after that. Until lunch time came and I was too hungry so I had to break the silence. Then after lunch Yoebo offered to take me shoe shopping so we held hands and that was the end of that

Then we went to visit Yoebo's Mommy & Dad. They kept saying how small I am and seemed concerned that I was too small to bear children  o.0

Then we headed to dinner at Salty's (where Yoebo did NOT cancel reservations, trickster)!

Definitely the full Valentine's dining experience. My first ever. So pricey, I could get used to it 

With the Seattle Space Needle in the background. Can you see it? I can't!

Then we drove to the Space Needle to cap a romantic night. We parked about a block downhill away. The night got cold and it started raining. I had on 6 inch hooker heels but no jacket. We were DETERMINED to end the night on a romantic note. So Yoebo half dragged, half carried me all the way there only to find a sign that said, "CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY."

So Yoebo carried me back to the car, stopping along the way because my arms hurt from hanging onto him but more so because he wanted to kiss meeee, drenched hair, running makeup, throbbing toes and all. THAT'S love <3

I hope that's enough cheeseyness to last you until next Valentine's 

Lunar New Years is all about family and Vietnamese culture. It's supposed to be a celebration.

But my mom always seemed sad aound this time of the year. When I was old enough she explained it was because she missed her mom, who was in Vietnam. Understandable, I guess. The year after my grandma passed away, mum seemed especially sad.

This year I walked with my mom through the New Years Festival in San Francisco. I was happy to run into old friend except this year instead of the usual new years greeting and well wishes, people gave me firm pats on the shoulders and reminded me to take care of my mother. And to my mother, they mentioned my father. After the third friend, we avoided familiar faces. I found a seat for my mother at the stage area with my cousin and left to wander the festival by myself.

Everything was familiar. Not much had changed over the years. The same people, the same street corners, the same concession stands, the same restaurants, the same. My heart kept wishing I could turn the corner and see the back of my dad like I do every year, with his salt and pepper hair. I'd always find him standing by himself enjoying the concert, the gambling, or even just the people. I'd tap him on the shoulder and he'd turn around chuckling, his mouth still partially paralyzed from his first stroke. I'd follow him through the crowds making sure he didn't fall, making sure no one shoved him. His frame was so small so I'd follow him until he wanted to go home. And if my mother had wanted to stay to watch the concert, he'd take the hour bus ride home. Even when I offered to drive him home then come back for my mother later, he insisted on taking the bus. Then I'd walk him to the bus stop and watch him board the bus. Then he'd sit down and wave at me as the bus pulled away.

The years my mother couldn't go the festival because of work, my dad would always buy a potted plant to take home to her. It was always overpriced and never that pretty. And my mom made sure she complained every year. But I always thought it was the sweetest gesture.

This year was different.

Today in cosmo school, all the freshmans had to pick a senior to hang out with all day. The seniors basically used us as manequins and we had to design a look together for the seniors to do on us. Then present it tomorrow. I sat in a hair chair for f******n 8 hours. Scalp treatment, shampoo, deep condition, trim, blowout, the works. As we were styling up dos, I talked her through everything since that's my forte. And she got super excited about the new techniques I taught her that she went a little overboard with my hair. Lol. But I didn't want to say anything negative since I didn't want to be a damper on her excitement.

We've been in school for 2 weeks. And today is the day we had to start wearing uniforms. They had announced that a long time ago so I went shopping last weekend and bought a year's worth of black bottoms, mostly skirts and tights and boots.. Uniform is basically a shirt you buy from the school and anything black or white on the bottom. Pants, skirts, shorts, etc... Except today they decide to announce to us what SPECIFIC black clothes they are talking about. Bottom line: NO TIGHTS, SKIRTS, nor BOOTS. And they expect us to be in that by tomorrow. WTF!?!? They had 2 whole weeks to tell us this but they didn't!?!? I already bought sooo much stuff that I can't even wear now. Not to mention I don't have any of the things that we DO need. And I need to be wearing it by tomorrow. Cosmo school gets out at 5pm. I take regular college until 7pm. Then I have family things to do. I did NOT have the time to go to the mall to pick up new black clothes. I HATE the unorganization of cosmo school. Sometimes we sit around twiddling our thumbs since the instructors are SUPER busy themselves. Budget cut = under staffed!

I'm super exhausted now a days. School, dinner, homework, then sleep. I haven't talked to any friends in ages. I'm super cranky. Not to mention super poor since school costed me an arm and a leg. And it continues sucking money out of me since we have to go to all these hair shows and such, which I don't mind but tickets are so expensive!!! Not to mention I haven't worked in a long time... I'm SUPER stressed out and exhausted. There is just so many things to take care of now. All these bills for me, my mom, and even for my dad while he was in the hospital. And I still need to go see a doctor about my problem, I haven't done that yet. Mostly because I'm scared of the worst so I push it in the back of my mind.

And I've been feeling a missed connection with yoebo. Like there isn't any time to talk to him the way I used to or I am too exhausted so I just fall asleep before I tell him all I want to talk about. Not to mention, he's been super active on facebook recently, flirting with all the girls that's not me. He must be bored now that I'm not around to bother him all day anymore -___-

We TOTALLY did NOT mean it. But it happens.

So there is a break room at school where everyone hangs out for breaks & lunch. There are 3 large long tables that seats 10+ people and one small table tucked in the corner. The small tables fits 4 comfortably and that's where my 2 friends and I usually sit. We all met the first day of school and clicked but everyone thinks we know each other from before since we're all SUPER close. Every once in a while there will be drifter person who has no one to sit with and in the beginning they would come sit with us, which we were totally cool with. Of course our conversation changes a bit, we won't talk about private manners like we do with each other. We keep things light so we can include the new person too.

Except one day, too many other kids came so that when the 3 of us settled down it was waaay crowded. So I stood up, grabbed my stuff and said, "Let's move to another table since this one is too crowded." I had meant that to EVERYONE. Except only my 2 friends stood up and grabbed their stuff. I didn't think much of it. Those people chose to stay and not sit with us at the bigger table. TOTALLY did not think ANYTHING of it.

Until the next day we talked about it and realized people thought that we had meant to move away from them and be by ourselves. That made us look like total bitches. Now if other people are sitting at that table first and we come and spread our stuff out, they get up and leave. So it seems like we are kicking them out. And if someone is alone, they'll stay alone rather than come join us like they used to.

Lol. TOTALLY did not mean it that way. But to be honest, I don't really mind either way.

So I started cosmetology school. The hours are like a full time job. But I made some fast friends and class is pretty fun. I mean, in what other class do you get to do nails for a grade? Muahaha my Vietnamese friend and I BURN everyone in this area. Of course, we were born into that world.

Our school uniforms consists of ALL black. My friend and I made an unspoken pact to be in black and cute. It's BEAUTY school after all. Let's be beautiful. My friend who attended the regular college always told me I will turn into one of THOSE girls, and indeed I have Then within the program, we have our own cliques too. We're the quiet asians. We're partners for EVERY project, field trips, breaks, lunch, you name it and we're IT.

High school much? Hahahaha yes!!

As much fun as it is, it's pretty exhausting. After cosmetology school I hike across the parking lot into the regular school where I take regular college night courses. Then pick up mom and dinner, homework, and bed. My day is pretty long and I get pretty tired. I hardly have the energy to chat with yoebo before I sleep. I usually just drift off, but not before asking for a bbo boo

Then Saturdays is usually work. Sundays I get to sleep in a little bit but then I spend the rest of the day running errands with mother dear.

How do people will FULL TIME jobs and a family do it?!?! Sheeesh! I'm wiped!

My health insurance is finally in order. Good! I have some things I've been meaning to go to the doctors for. Hope all is well and all my problems are just minor.

I'm going to Seattle for Valentine's weekend. I wonder what yoebo will have in store for me. It better be gooood

Then coming home to Mommy to ring in the new year with just the two of us. I know Mommy will be sadder this year. Lunar New Years is always sad for her since it reminds her of her own mom in Vietnam, where LNY is a REALLY big deal compared to here. Grandma passed away two years ago. And worst of all, Daddy passed away last year. This is Mommy's first New Year truly alone. Except for me. I better have something in store for her. And it better be gooood. Any suggestions?

What are your plans for Valentine's/Lunar New Year?

1. Honesty is the best policy. Lying about the problem will make it that much worst when the truth comes out.

2. When you're not happy in a relationship and you've already discuss the problem without any change. LEAVE already. Don't wait around... it's waste of time.

3. When dating someone, make sure their parents aren't horrible people. And if they are... make sure your SO is going to be on YOUR side. But it's best to partner up with someone who already has adorable parents.

4. Don't book flights with long stops or lay overs just because it's cheaper than a direct flight. P.S. Look on a map where you are stopping to make sure you aren't traveling in a triangle instead of a line. Who knew Minnesota ISN'T on the way to Texas from California...

5. When traveling for work with a questionably shady company... make sure all payments and accommodations are paid BEFORE HAND. After an exhausting and frustrating few days, I found out I was left stranded with no way to get home until I forked up a couple hundred out of my own pockets.

6. Don't go online looking for love. But if you happen to find it. Go for it. You can laugh at yourselves about it later. Like yoebo and I do everyday.

7. Be genuine about making friends wherever you go, even if they are more fake than the boobs they bought last year. You never know what they can help you with later on in life. Or what you can help them with. It PAYS to be popular in my business, any business.

8. ALWAYS have some sort of health insurance. Even if it's a minimal state sponsored program. You'll want to have SOMEWHERE to turn to when you need.

9. Be kind to our parents. You might not need them as much anymore but they may be needing you more than they'll ever admit. And you never know when they will leave, it may be before you resolve your conflicts.

10. Seattle opened the first ever Starbucks : )