December 20, 2011
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Extremes
I know some girls who hate seeing other girl’s boyfriends hold their girlfriend’s purse in public. Or when the boyfriend gives into their girlfriend’s ridiculous demands for extravagant trips and events. Or how some girls look down upon the boyfriend when he works really hard to save up for a gift for their girlfriend. Or how he wakes up at 3AM to make sure she’s awake for her work. And then he drives her and waits for her. I guess they see the boys as being weak and whipped by the girlfriend. And they see the girlfriends as being ungrateful and unreasonably demanding.
Well, I think they’re just haters. Hahahha. I kid.
To me, that behavior is perfectly normal and seen as very sweet. I am completely biased but I’ve always thought the guy should chase the girl and give the girl the world, on a silver platter because that’s what most girls want, to be a princess. If a guy loves her, he will do it for her.
Then there are relationships where it’s obvious the girl is chasing the guy. And she’s the one going all the extra miles accommodating to him. Like always driving to his house. Always waiting on his schedule. Planning her future around his decisions for school or work.
I think I find it REALLY weird when I talk to my girlfriends who are in those type of relationships and the subject of domestic abuse comes up. Of course, never in their own relationship, but we’ll talk about abuse we hear about on the news or through other friends. And a lot of the times the girls will say something to the tune of how the girl deserved it because of what she did to him before. Or somehow, she should have fought harder for herself.
These talks always set off an alarm in me. Because in my eyes, no matter who did or said what, for the most part a guy can beat the crap out of a girl when it comes to pure strength and rage. Because of this, a boyfriend is supposed to protect his girlfriend, not beat her. Or when he hates her, just leave her alone. Sometimes it makes me wonder if these friends of mine WERE in an abusive relationship, would they know it? Would they tell anyone? Would they even fight it?
The ideal situation is a relationship somewhere between the two extremes. But I guess every couple whistle to their own tune. Where do you fall in the spectrum?
Comments (6)
Been too long to know where I fall in the extremes heh. Middle extreme is nice though. Always giving everything to the girl is fine and dandy, but when it becomes expected and you get crap because you didn’t/couldn’t do something for her that she felt was deserved it starts to put a lot of strain on the relationship. The majority of people can’t tell when they’re in an abusive relationship, at least in the beginning. And others love to cry ‘abuse’ when the things they’re whining about are normal human behavior.
I can agree with the second part of your post…a man who cares about his woman should never lay a hand on her. But your assertion that every girl wants to be a princess and that it’s the guys duty to help her fulfill that role…not so much.
It’s great, if your man wants to and has the capabilulity to take on that role. But, if you think you somehow “deserve it” just because you’re a girl, and that “all girls want to be princesses”. That is pretty much BS and one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.
It’s nice when a guy can save up enough money to take his girl on a vacation, or when he can buy her nice things. It feels good to be able to give the person you love what she wants, but never, ever believe that you “deserve it” just because you are a “princess”. The only thing a woman should expect from her man, is his love. Everything else that comes with it is just bonus. Hopefully, you know how to appreciate what your man does for you. Hopefully, he’s not doing things for you, just because you expect him to do it.
You are right about some of the signs but the beatings don’t usually begin until both feel their relationship is more or less permanent. Then she thinks she has to stay with it to “change” him.
Sometimes, unless it’s physical violence (and even then this might fall into that), most women don’t know about being abused until after the fact. It can come in verbal lashings, isolation, money withholding, etc. It’s possible your friends may have been – a lot of people tend to blame themselves and say they deserved it or make excuses for the behavior. No one should EVER deserve abuse, no matter what the person did beforehand.
And unless the girlfriend reciprocates somehow or shows true appreciation, I usually look at them as spoiled. Although it’s great that the boyfriend can buy all the nice and shiny stuff, I think it’s more important about what you do together than what you unwrap.
I never was the “treat me like a princess” type of girl despite being spoiled by my parents. It could be said that even now, I am spoiled but I never expect those things just because I’m a girl. It’s more like I’m fortunate to have people in my life who treat me so well and I always make sure to show my appreciation. But, I agree with you: just because you’re treated well doesn’t make you a ungrateful, demanding girl. It just means you have powers of persuasion
@mr_jin_tonic - I agree with you how a woman shouldn’t expect everything because they have a vag, but everyone expects to be shown love in different ways. And sometimes, love is not enough to make a relationship work.
hmmm I wish I had such a loving bf… but I think only a certain type of girl can bring out sucha side to a guy LOL