I am so fuckin’ done with being pregnant. My nausea is getting worst and worst by the day. And I’ve been throwing up more frequently. The other night I woke up in the middle of the night with a huge urge to throw up. Luckily Won has been keeping plastic bags by my pillow just for this reason. I woke him, he rubbed my back a bit and up came all my meager dinner. I also keep losing weight because I barely eat. Won forces me to eat most of my meals but he can’t control how little I eat. Heck, I can’t control it. Usually after a few bites, I can feel the nausea building in my throat and I know even one more bite will bring everything up again. So when I throw up what little I did eat, it usually wasn’t enough food to protect my stomach and I can always taste the bile that comes up after.

I woke up this morning not feeling the best but I had a small list of chores I was looking forward to. I sat down for a few bites of breakfast and now I’m just back in bed. The nausea is so bad I want to throw up so I can be done with it and just rest. But I also hate throwing up so I don’t want to throw up. I hate myself right now. I hate Won right now. I even hate this little booger right now. UGHHHH.

In 2 days, we go in for our 3 months ultra sound. I read it should be the size of a lime now. From a gummy bear to a lime. Then we can announce it to the world, although I’m sure loads of people already know by now through the grapevine and from my loud mouth mother! Haha.

I’m just hoping all this sickness I am experiencing just means our little booger is growing healthy in there. And I’m not suffering in vain.

I also hope I am amongst the lucky mothers-to-be that feel a lot of energy and no more nausea in their 2nd trimester. Although, I have a bad feeling I’ll be feeling this way for the whole 9 months and some time after that too. *cries*

The other thing that sucks is I. HAVE. TO. PEE. ALL. THE. GOSHDAMN. TIME. This means waking up multiple times through out the night to pee. And peeing at every restaurant and store we go to. If you knew me before, you’d know I FUCKIN’ HATE public restroom. I used to hold my pee in ALL day until I get home. But now I can’t. You know you have this little urge to pee then you hold it in, hold it in, hold it in, and sometimes you forget about it. Sometimes you just hold it in for hours and then you finally can’t hold it in anymore and when you finally go, you feel so good. But when you’re pregnant, that little urge to go turns into YOU CAN’T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE within a matter of literally a minute. I’m all fine and dandy and BAM! I HAVE TO PEE NOW!!! It’s so annoying. Public restrooms are fuckin’ filthy and smell so bad. So now on top of HAVING to pee everywhere. I want to throw up every single time because bathrooms are so filthy I can’t help it.

And why do no pregnant bloggers write about this? Everyone is all happy and pretty with their big bellies and I feel like a horrible person because I already resent the little booger and my adoring husband before it’s even here. Well this is the truth. And don’t fuckin’ get pregnant if you have to go to a job every day or anything that requires you to get out of bed before noon. My advice, marry someone who doesn’t mind leaving for work at 6AM and coming home from grad school at 10PM but still picking up food for you and waking up in the middle of the night to catch your puke and cuddle you and other dumb shit. Oh, and someone who can afford to pay for everything without your help… including YOUR business rent because you’re too out of it to work   Otherwise, do not get pregnant. *cries*

Pae Baek is a traditional Korean tea ceremony. In real tradition, it’s meant for the grooms family so it’s done in private and takes about 2 hours. But since we’re not very traditional people, we asked to have it done during our reception… within 20 minutes as I know our mostly non-Korean guests would enjoy the elaborate set up, wardrobe, and games.

This was the table set-up. Everything was decorated really nicely. It was so vibrant and made a nice center display on our stage. Most of the foods were fake but we got some real little souvenirs to take home with us after the wedding.

When we were ready for our paebaek, we were taken upstairs to change into our traditional outfits. I was lent a traditional han bok to wear underneath. Then a empress gown to wear over it. The outfits were made complete with head gears for both of us. We chose this particular Pae Baek company because they have much more elaborate costumes than any other company. Most of the ones you see are the plain red and blue one (like the ones we rented for our engagement photo shoot) that are meant for high court officials. But there are more rare robes for mistresses, princess, queens, and empress. Of course we chose the highest up the chain, even though we’re imposters! Hahahaha.

The first thing we had to do was a super low traditional bow to our parents separately. You’re traditionally supposed to do it all the older family members on your husband side but we didn’t have any and we wanted to keep it short and entertaining so we only did both set of parents. I was wearing so many layers, I had to be helped by the pae baek service lady.

As with all tea ceremonies, we poured teas for our parents then for each other. Then romantically drank tea with intertwined arms. Hahaha.

And then they do this game where the parents throw a handful of chestnuts and dates at your and you have to both hold up a piece of fabric to try and catch as much as you can. Won DEFINITELY worked very hard to catch the fruits. Apparently however many you catch is however kids you will have. We caught 7 girls and 5 boys.

This is me going, “Hahahahahah you’re joking right!?”

Then you hold a date in your mouth and Won grabs the other half in his mouth. And then we pull it apart and see whoever gets the seed. It’s kinda like a wishbone or an Oreo. Except instead of getting a wish, whoever has the seed means your first born will be that gender. In this case, I won cuz I was biting down hard (we didn’t know what it meant at the time) so our first born should be a girl. Won said if he knew, he would have fought harder. LOL.

Then Won is supposed to undressed me cuz we’re supposed to have sex on our wedding night to make those 12 babies. Hahahaha. In the ceremony, it’s symbolic so Won just takes off the top of my head piece and then I was instructed to giggle into my sleeves to show what a shy and innocent virgin bride that I am. Lol for  a culture obsessed with babies, they sure have high expectations for you pre-nuptial.

Then Won gives me a piggy back ride all around the restaurant to show he can carry this new “burden” for the rest of his life. Lol. He got LOTS of cheers. I always tell him good thing Im a small little thing or else he wouldn’t be able to carry me and that would be embarrassing for him. He said it’s a good thing he works out or else he wouldn’t be able to carry me and that would be embarrassing for me!

And a final picture with our set up! Kamsamida for reading!

Ah nheung!!!