December 9, 2013

• A Bad Morning post

  I am so fuckin’ done with being pregnant. My nausea is getting worst and worst by the day. And I’ve been throwing up more frequently. The other night I woke up in the middle of the night with a huge urge to throw up. Luckily Won has been keeping plastic bags by my pillow just for this reason. I woke him, he rubbed my back a bit and up came all my meager dinner. I also keep losing weight because I barely eat. Won forces me to eat most of my meals but he can’t control how little I eat. Heck, I can’t control it. Usually after a few bites, I can feel the nausea building in my throat and I know even one more bite will bring everything up again. So when I throw up what little I did eat, it usually wasn’t enough food to protect my stomach and I can always taste the bile that comes up after.

  I woke up this morning not feeling the best but I had a small list of chores I was looking forward to. I sat down for a few bites of breakfast and now I’m just back in bed. The nausea is so bad I want to throw up so I can be done with it and just rest. But I also hate throwing up so I don’t want to throw up. I hate myself right now. I hate Won right now. I even hate this little booger right now. UGHHHH.

  In 2 days, we go in for our 3 months ultra sound. I read it should be the size of a lime now. From a gummy bear to a lime. Then we can announce it to the world, although I’m sure loads of people already know by now through the grapevine and from my loud mouth mother! Haha.

  I’m just hoping all this sickness I am experiencing just means our little booger is growing healthy in there. And I’m not suffering in vain.

  I also hope I am amongst the lucky mothers-to-be that feel a lot of energy and no more nausea in their 2nd trimester. Although, I have a bad feeling I’ll be feeling this way for the whole 9 months and some time after that too. *cries*

  The other thing that sucks is I. HAVE. TO. PEE. ALL. THE. GOSHDAMN. TIME. This means waking up multiple times through out the night to pee. And peeing at every restaurant and store we go to. If you knew me before, you’d know I FUCKIN’ HATE public restroom. I used to hold my pee in ALL day until I get home. But now I can’t. You know you have this little urge to pee then you hold it in, hold it in, hold it in, and sometimes you forget about it. Sometimes you just hold it in for hours and then you finally can’t hold it in anymore and when you finally go, you feel so good. But when you’re pregnant, that little urge to go turns into YOU CAN’T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE within a matter of literally a minute. I’m all fine and dandy and BAM! I HAVE TO PEE NOW!!! It’s so annoying. Public restrooms are fuckin’ filthy and smell so bad. So now on top of HAVING to pee everywhere. I want to throw up every single time because bathrooms are so filthy I can’t help it.

  And why do no pregnant bloggers write about this? Everyone is all happy and pretty with their big bellies and I feel like a horrible person because I already resent the little booger and my adoring husband before it’s even here. Well this is the truth. And don’t fuckin’ get pregnant if you have to go to a job every day or anything that requires you to get out of bed before noon. My advice, marry someone who doesn’t mind leaving for work at 6AM and coming home from grad school at 10PM but still picking up food for you and waking up in the middle of the night to catch your puke and cuddle you and other dumb shit. Oh, and someone who can afford to pay for everything without your help… including YOUR business rent because you’re too out of it to work   Otherwise, do not get pregnant. *cries*

  • 3:33 pm
  • 6 Comments