August 16, 2011

  • New Activity: Camping

    My brothers are super into camping, which I think is really weird because one of them is super gangsta and one of them is super geek. The last two people I'd expect to run into in the forest on weekends, but that's their new thing. They even do like camping trips together. And I am starting to see it catch on as a lot of my own friends are posting pictures on facebook of their camping trips.

    Once in a while they'll throw me a bone in the email, "on the off chance that Van wants to go, I am including her in this email." Pity invite since ALL the siblings and their wive's siblings are going. I appreciate being included, I REALLY do.

    But how do I say this... when I look at those pictures or hear stories all I can think about it WHY DO YOU VOLUNTARILY PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THE MISERY!?

    Its really rare seeing pictures of Happy Campers. No, usually it's pictures of them half asleep in some rickety old chair in pj pants and puff jacket. Everyone looks dark and dirty. And I can only imagine the bugs stories I hear. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Where is the fun in that?

    I remember once I went camping and I COULD NOT freaking sleep because of all the bugs in the net layer of the tent. It was like I was suffocating in a bug chamber. Scary movie idea. Ughhh. I mean, what do  people even do on camping trips? Drink beer. Get cold. Eat instant meals. Suffer while you try to do ANYTHING because its 1000x harder, including brushing teeth or even going to the bathroom. Toss and turn. Wake up. Walk around until you blister. Drink beer. Repeat. Ughhhh.

    I will be the first to admit I am not at all adventurous. Even if someone were to offer me an ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP (but not luxurious) to some foreign country by myself. I'll say "no" faster than they can finish the offer.

    I like doing the cheesey touristy thing. You know, the  experience that cost 10000x more than doing it byo yourself the natural way? I like tour guides. I like photo ops. I like everything being set up and predictable. I like schedules and maps.

    That's not to say I don't like the outdoors because I do. I mean, to some degree. Sure, I'll hike and chop trees and swim in the river. I love doing those things and can really get into it. But at the end of the day, I would need a real bed and a real shower. How else are you supposed to recover from an exhausting day?

    I refuse to go camping. Ever!

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