July 31, 2013

• Stability

  With the looming 24 hour until xanga’s expiration date, I had to archive both mine and Won’s Xanga. It made me spend the last 5 hours reading over my old entries. I happened to read through 2 really dark years.  To be honest, I don’t even remember those events nor can I remember feeling what felt at the time, I am just reading it now as if I were reading a stranger’s blog and I feel so sad for past me. Because current me is so happy. I have bad days but I have such a positive outlook and energy on life now that I can’t relate to old me anymore. 

  I can’t help but compare old me to now me. And I am so happy to have a husband, who for the past five years has made me feel extremely secure. Never once did I have to wonder if I was loved. Even from day one, there was no doubt that this guy here  would travel to the end of the earth for me and back. I never questioned his loyalties or intentions. There was never a hypothetical scenario in which he would leave me in any circumstances and he made that clear. I was and will always be his top priority.

  For a second I thought, maybe it’s me. Maybe now I am an older stronger person who doesn’t take crap. But back then I was young and naive and guys treated me bad because I allowed them to. But if you really knew my husband, you’d know the way he treats me has absolutely nothing with my expectations and what I allow him to get away with or not. He treats me like a princess and a wife because that is how he wants to treat me. I used to ask if he goes above and beyond because that is who he is as a person. Or if he goes above and beyond because it is who I am as a person and he loves me. He assures me it’s the latter. I hope everyone finds someone who loves them like this. And someone they love like this. 

  

  • 6:08 am
  • 9 Comments