June 27, 2012

• Midnight Madness

  For some time back I started to really hate my life. I was on my way to the top of my worlds in family, love, career, etc... but I had this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I was not happy. I wanted out. I did not want to do makeup anymore, I did not want to work at a salon anymore, I did not want to do weddings anymore, I did not want to get married anymore, I did not want to take care of myself. I wanted to say PEACE THE FUCK OUT. But I am a committed person and it would take death (literally) for me to bail out on all my contracted clients and relationships and job and family functions.

  And so I let myself feel shitty and barely kept up with everything for like 2 weeks.

  Then I worked on things to make it better. I talked through our future plans with my boyfriend. I am more in love with him than ever before. I talked through my books with my salon owners. I made time to answer my emails. I took an inspirational trip to the International Makeup Tradeshow. I let myself be vain and shop for nice clothes. I love the new additions to my closet (as much as I dread laundry day).

  And even though I am still swimming in everything. Once again, I do not feel the stress. I do not have a sinking feeling in my stomach. I am happy again. I feel victorious and determined all at the same time. Once again, I want to conquer.

  How are your lives?

  I should add my room is a COMPLETE mess right now. I have 3 open suitcases that I never unpacked but somehow still wear clothes out of them. Not to mention piles and piles and piles of clothes that I try on but dont end up wearing in the morning. Then hidden piles of dirty clothes. And just random hair & makeup stuff all over the place. Plus snack wrappers and electrical cords. Even my mom is like.. I can't come in here anymore. Okay. Goal # 1 is to CLEAN MY ROOM. That should help with any anxiety issues!

  • 2:56 am
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